yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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