I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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