How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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