Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
