I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
