he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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