Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
