yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
