I wanna passion pit in your ass
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You made out with two different species that night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
