Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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