you would pick up someone in the library
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
