But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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