there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
