i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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