I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She told me I should be a condom model.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
