im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
