I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
