I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
