I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
