he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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