he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
