I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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