I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
