He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
