in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
