I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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