Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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