i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
