Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
