this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
