Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
