oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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