Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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