tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
nutella sex= disaster
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
