I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
