Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
