well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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