i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
