google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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