Sponge bath it is.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
