I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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