My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
