i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
should my penis look like a turkey
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
