Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
