Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
