My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's get the cat blown out
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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