Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I love you. Go after that dick
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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