My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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