that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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