I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize