We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
