No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
