THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize