I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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