I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
