I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
