You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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