Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
