Cold hands, warm shart.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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