your parents love me but you hate me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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