I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dignity is for republicans.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
