she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
