he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
