I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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