i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Two words: blizzard sex
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize