so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
