That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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