Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that's an acceptable place to lick
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
