omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
