Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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