Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
