My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
