Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
